A Teen's First Romance
Tips for Parents to Handle That First Serious Relationship
Some advice for parents on how to use their teen's first romance as a learning tool about friendship, sexuality and dating.
For parents, the idea that their child is becoming involved in her first serious romance can be frightening. The mistakes from a first relationship gone wrong can cause tremendous emotional pain for many years. For this reason, it’s extremely important that children be taught about romance and dating, not just beforehand but also while the relationship is in bloom.
Practice for First Date
First and foremost – preferably before a child starts to date, let your child practice with you! Have your child ask you out and take you on a date. Yes – this can be done far away from teenage peers who may giggle and torment your child about it, but the point is to get your child comfortable with any situations that may come up on a date.
During the practice date, discuss such topics as ordering, tipping the server and paying the bill. Other topics to discuss are old standards such as wearing seat belts and abstaining from alcohol or drugs or date-only topics such as what to do when your date winds up drunk or how to properly end a bad date early.
When the child practices on the parent first, he is prepared to handle almost any circumstance that can occur on a date and won’t get stuck not knowing what to do.
What To Look for In a First Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Think of this as the list of ingredients one should look for in a date. It’s a fact of life that teenagers want to date the popular peers or the ones who look “hot” and it’s the parents who have the responsibility to teach their child how to look beyond those two attributes. Nothing is worse than being on a date and having nothing to talk about!
So – parents need to instill in their children that there is a standard of attributes one should look for in a date. These can include having likes and dislikes in common, finding a date that is intelligent or socially conscious and the importance of friendship in romance. After all – dating is usually a precursor to marriage and nothing would be worse than having your child marry someone that is completely wrong for them. Set the bar high early on and the lessons learned will carry through for many years.
Teen Romance - Know What's Happening
Finally, and most important – make sure you know where your child is and what he is doing. By keeping up to date on the plans, you are better prepared to address anything that might be of concern. If you find out the couple will be alone together for a period of time, then it’s probably a great time to discuss abstinence. If you find out the couple is going to a friend’s house, it’s a great time to discuss the friend’s family values and standards.
The chances of the first teen romance lasting into adulthood are slim to none, so parents should feel free to take advantage of the situation and really use it to help their child grow and learn more about dating and themselves.
