Birth Order and Your Teen

Oldest, Middle, Youngest: Does it Matter?

Sep 3, 2008 Mary McCarthy

Whether your teenager was born first, second of last may affect their personality -- and how you parent. Here are some reasons why.

The oldest is often stubborn, responsible and independent. The middle child usually seems more laid back and easy-going. The youngest child is a fun-loving entertainer. Birth order stereotypes exist for all age groups, but what are some ways their birth order may affect teenagers? (see The Birth Order Book: Why You Are The Way You Are by Dr. Kevin Leman, Revell Publ., 2nd edition, 2004)

Birth Order: What Does it Mean?

Many birth order studies over time have shown that first-born and only children exhibit different personalities than later-born children. When you parent your first born, you may use a different style than for later children (when you’ve had more experience as a parent), so this is something to keep in mind for parents of teens. Youngest children tend to be more attention-seeking due to their competition with older siblings.

Birth Order Effects on Parental Time

A recent study by Brigham Young University economics professor Joseph Price [Journal of Human Resources, February 2008] showed that first-born children get about 3,000 more hours of quality time with their parents between ages 4 and 13 than the next sibling gets within the same age range.

“Joe Price convincingly demonstrates that parents spend more time with their oldest child -- probably largely without realizing it or intending to treat their children unequally,” said Suzanne Bianchi, a University of Maryland sociologist who studies time use, in the February 12, 2008 issue of Mormon Times.

“If your goal as a parent is to equalize outcomes across your children, you should be aware of this natural pattern and try to give younger children more quality time,” said Price in the same article.

Parenting Your Teen

Understanding how your teen’s birth order affects his or her personality is a useful parenting tool. If you are aware that an oldest child is already going to be putting a lot of pressure on him/herself to succeed, you may be careful not to add to his self-inflicted stress. A middle-born teen may be more shy or quiet, so you might want to encourage close friendships with a few other friends versus the full social agenda your older child may have had. A "youngest" teen may have a highly developed sense of humor, so making an effort to communicate in a more lighthearted way may be a good approach.

There are so many aspects to parenting teens -- birth order is one of many, but it may be helpful to be aware of the issues affecting their behavior so that your relationship is more mutually beneficial.

Read more articles about parenting teens.

The copyright of the article Birth Order and Your Teen in Parenting Teens is owned by Mary McCarthy. Permission to republish Birth Order and Your Teen in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Birth Order