Corporal Discipline Not an Effective Strategy
Violent Correction and Spanking Likely to Lead to Violent Behavior
As children grow parents normally move away from spanking. However, a significant number of parents continue to apply corporal punishment to their sons into the teenage years. There is a link between boys receiving corporal discipline in their adolescence and future violent behavior on the part of the boy against his spouse and his children.
Murray Strauss, an adolescent psychology researcher, points out the link between corporal punishment and future violent behavior seems to have roots in two areas: social learning theory and a failure to use non-violent conflict resolution skills. Strauss writes in Corporal Punishment in Adolescents and Physical Assaults on Spouses [Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy, National Council on Family Relations, 2006] that parents can have influences in both arenas.
The Pitfalls of Spanking
Many parents spank out of frustration and anger. Their son has simply pushed them to the breaking point and parents feel they have no other choice in dealing with their son. This feeling of being out of control is reported by Strauss. However, parents have a duty to take anger out of the discipline decisions. If they react in violence to the frustration of the situation, they have taught their son to solve problems with aggressive behavior.
Social learning theory holds that what teens observe in their family they take to be the "correct" behavior and hold onto that ideal as they have their own spouses and children. When frustration arises, they act out aggressively, which can lead to assaultive behavior against the spouse and children.
It's important to consider the following when making decisions to use corporal punishment:
- The age of the child. The older the child is the more likely he is to identify with the adults and exhibit the behavior.
- The exhaustion of other options. There are many types of discipline to try and these should be explored before resulting to spanking.
- The method of the spanking. There is no way around the fact that the object of corporal punishment is to use pain as a negative reinforcement. Making the pain minimum and using it only in situations where an immediate, urgent need to modify current behavior will make it more effective as a last ditch parenting tool.
Non-Violent Punishment Solutions
Addressing discipline with your teenager, especially with your teenage son, can be a daunting task. Adolescents are at different points in their developmental processes and their reactions and openness to behavior changing can be contentious. Parents can persevere though in applying non-violent solutions and often achieve the goals of discipline.
One of the important skills sons need to learn from their parents is non-violent conflict resolution. This needs to be taught not only in discipline but in every day situations as well. Help your son understand objectives can be obtained through discussion, reasoning and compromise. Some common opportunities to teach non-violent problem solving are:
- Issues between parents. If partners disagree over an issue and it is appropriate, invite your teenager to sit in on your resolution of the issue.
- Try to help your teen choose a specific goal in identifying the steps he will need to take to reach the goal without using any violence.
- Teach your teen a belief in win-win situations where conflicts can be resolved with all walking away with a part of their needs met.
Spanking and other corporal punishment, if ever used at all, should be significantly reduced in use with adolescents. Parents must realize their behavior will be mirrored by their children in the future. This includes the children's interactions with future spouses and offspring. Parents should look for non-violent solutions to problems and help teens learn the possibility of win-win situations.
Old Time Punishment Not Funny
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