The teen years are often full of rages, tears, pouting, slammed doors, thrown objects and other childish and sometimes destructive behavior. Despite their headlong rush to become adults and to be recognized as such, teenagers often backslide into infantile actions. Parents may even find themselves reacting in kind, no matter how calm and rational they may be the rest of the time as they try to interact with their Jeckle-and-Hyde offspring.
How can both the parent and the teen deal with these outbursts? Especially when so much of this is hormonally and socially influenced on the part of the teenager? Between the vast changes occurring in their minds and bodies along with peer pressures and new responsibilities as emerging adults, how is anyone supposed to behave normally? And how are the adults in their lives suppose to react? How does one cope under such potentially explosive conditions? Here are a few suggestions.
Take a Break from Each Other
Time outs work well for anyone, no matter what age. Go to neutral corners when a disagreement erupts and allow time for each party to calm down. One or more family members may need to leave the house entirely in order to create enough emotional distance from whatever issue has arisen. The amount of time to wait before trying to meeting again can vary greatly. Some minor squabbles may only take a few minutes to an hour before everyone can gather together again to attempt to discuss things more rationally.
Major blow-ups might take a day or more, sometimes weeks, before the offending subject can be talked about safely. The important thing to remember is that each side try to be as calm as possible before re-broaching a topic. If tempers flare again, take another break. This general cycle may need to be repeated over several years while the family works through the turmoil that is a teenager’s development.
Write Out Your Thoughts
Another way to purge those emotional toxins, which can be used by parents and teens alike, is writing thoughts down. Whether using pen on paper in the old-fashioned diary method or using the more popular blogs, getting thoughts down in a visual format can work wonders to release steam and get some of the angst out of one’s system. Resentments, grudges and other beefs can be aired within the relative privacy of a personal log. Some individuals may even wish to shred or burn physical pages as additional venting, allowing those horrible feelings to shrink with the offending pages that contain them.
Use Exercise to Blow off Steam
Exercise is another good way to deal with emotional stress. Whether joining a gym, pouring extra energy into daily chores like washing dishes or performing yard work to a good long jog or walk, physical exertion can alleviate stress. Physical toxins build up from the emotional turmoil as the brain’s chemistry alters during stressful events. Physical exertion can help cleanse these toxins and clear the mind.
Elevated heart rate and other stimulation can boost positive biochemistry to counter the negatives. Also, in the case of jogging or walking one’s problems off, it is possible to feel a certain amount of emotional distance being made between you and the argument at hand as you literally leave your issues behind.
Wash Your Troubles Away
A good, long shower can also do wonders to smooth rough emotional edges. Literally washing away unpleasant feelings really works. There is the therapeutic value of feeling cleaner as well as the fact that warm to hot water helps to relax the muscles which in turn can ease the mind. Once refreshed, the difficult subject of earlier may seem less odious, or at the very least more easily handled.
These are just a few suggestions. The important factor is to find a method or set of methods that work for each family member and then use them whenever necessary. Even if that means using all of the above within a single day.
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