Is Your Teen an Overachiever?
How to Help a Teenager Under Too Much Stress
Sports, instruments, academics, community service, church, family chores, and more. Is your teen experiencing activity overload?
Parental Pressure
Parents who push their teens to take on more are asking for trouble. It’s easy to fall into the trap of putting pressure on teens to get straight A’s, excel at a sport, and partake in extracurricular activities, but intense pressure from parents can lead to mental overload and ultimate rebellion. Parents who teach teens to create a balance in their lives are setting them up for long-term success.
How Much Is Too Much?
How many activities a teen can handle is going to be determined by the individual teen’s personality. A naturally driven, responsible teen may wish to take on a number of activities, and a parent of such a teen can help by setting limits so the teen does not become overwhelmed. Some teens have (more shy) personalities that make them less likely to join activities; again, parents can help by encouraging teens to join at least one new activity.
Overachieving Teens
The Overachievers: The Secret Lives of Driven Kids by Alexandra Robbins [Hyperion Books, 2006] has been popular in helping parents of overachieving kids. In her personal weblog, Robbins indicated that in the course of interviewing twentysomethings who had difficulty bridging success in school to success in life, many of the young people were concerned they had peaked in school.
Some of them discovered as recent grads "that they had no idea who the real person was behind their on-paper achievements. Some of them were pushed by their parents to succeed, then woke up as young adults and realized that they were the person their parents wanted them to be -- not the person they really were.” (Alexandra Robbins, personal weblog, Amazon.com, August 2006)
Let Teens Take the Lead
One of the best things parents of teens can do is to allow their teen to make decisions on her own. Teens generally are aware of the activities they like, and will naturally be drawn to the things in which they demonstrate some talent. If your teen likes playing the violin, take him to the orchestra. If she loves a certain sport, subscribe to a magazine that will help her learn more about it.
Letting teens know you support them and are not pushing them to excel is going to ultimately be a key element to their success.
Read more about helping teens manage money, social networking websites for teens, and pampering your teen.
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