Children & teenagers face their own particular problems when they are overweight. Parents must help the child overcome these things!
It's not just adults that have problems being large. As is so often the case, those that suffer the most are often children.
Anybody who was a large child will know the torment of teasing that ensued when starting a new school. Some, however, will also know the satisfaction of living down the teasing and ending up being a popular part of the school.
But, it takes a child with a strong mind to overcome teasing and bullying that comes as part of their size - and the wholehearted support of that child's parents can only help this strong mind grow and develop.
So - what can you do to help?
Firstly - rejoice in your child. Never berate them for being overweight - but always offer them the chance to play outside, and offer exercise made fun: going skating, bike riding or hiking with the whole family will not only give your large child exercise, but will also give the family time to do things together.
Make allowances that your large child will be slower - and plan around this.
Secondly - don't deny that child the treats you allow your other children (eg: a piece of chocolate, or dessert). Treat them exactly the same. Often, the child is not large because they overeat, but because of an underlying medical problem. The other thing you have to remember is that if you deny them the treat you give the other children, that child will believe that they have done something wrong, or that they don't matter as much as the other children.
Teach your large child early about dressing - so that they are always wearing something that flatters them - the same dressing tricks that flatter a larger adjult will also flatter a larger child. Don't make the child hide behind tents or jeans - if your large daughter wants to be feminine in frills, then let her!
I'm not, however, saying let her dress in micro-mini dresses, or midrif tops that just plain look tarty on anybody!
Again - teach your child how to dress smart. That way people will notice the person behind the clothes, not the clothes themselves.
Your large child will be hurt by teasing - and will come home in tears. When that happens, the best thing you can do is give unconditional love - hug your child and don't be afraid to cry with them.
When you have finished your crying jag, explain to your child that the teasing and bullies are just ignorant and in trying to hurt your child, they are trying to make themselves feel better. Teach your child how to hold their head up - and always be polite.
And that's the key. When you get the teasing, the sniping answering back, or having a smart mouth will not make things get better.
Being polite will. Always treat people with politeness and nobody will ever be able to complain about your treatment (can't you just see it: "But teacher, Mary was polite to me!"). If you want to know polite - watch the English Royal Family at work. Although people say they are poker faced, and don't show emotion, at every function, they are always polite and never give their hosts cause to take offence.
Politeness is the defence of a strong mind - and a strong mind is what your large child will need throughout his or her lifetime.
Teach your large child to love themselves. Have a session of gazing in the mirror and saying what they like about themselves. Are their eyes beautiful and sparkling? What about their lovely even white teeth?
Your large child will need to know about good grooming from an early age to make the most of themselves. Encourage them to speak with the hairdresser when they get their hair cut - discuss how to care for their hair, and how it looks best.
Encourage your large child to enter into a love affair with themselves - because if they love themselves, then that love will be transmitted to those around them.
You know people who love themselves - they have a lift and a sparke about them that charms and lights up a room. They have self-confidence and that something that - even if they are not conventionally beautiful - enriches them and makes them seem beautiful when they are with you.
Above all - teach your child to perservere. Teach them that they should not dislike those who torment them - but should pity and love them. Obviously they are just jealous that they are not like your large child.
Of course - there is the danger that your child will go too far the other way and become narcissistic. However, better that they love themselves too much, than they don't love themselves at all.
