Parties, Teenagers and Parents - Helpful Hints

For Teen Safety, an Ounce of Prevention is Worth a Pound of Cure

Jan 18, 2009 Nelson Acquilano

The three leading causes of death for teens are homicide, suicide and accident fatalities. Alcohol and drugs are the primary causative factors in each category of death.

The National Survey on Drug Use and Health is an annual report prepared by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. According to the NSDUH, in 2007, an estimated 1.6 million youth under the age of 18 used an illicit drug for the first time, 3.9 million youth under the age of 21 used alcohol for the first time, and 1 million youth under the age of 18 smoked cigarettes for the first time.

Parties and Teenagers

Drug use and abuse by teenagers has dropped significantly over the past few years. But the level of use of these substances by teens is still unacceptably high, and routinely, teens are commonly introduced to these substances at parties.

While parents know that their teens go to parties, too often they are not aware of the real circumstances of that party. With a little work and discussion with a child, a party at home or away can be a safe and enjoyable experience.

If Your Teenager Wants to Go to a Party

• Know where your teenager will be, and with whom; get the address and telephone numbers.
• Contact the parents of the party giver. Confirm the details of the party, and make sure the parents will be present and that no alcohol/drugs will be permitted.
• Agree beforehand on expectations for behavior and curfew.
• If your teenager stays overnight with a friend after the party, contact the friend’s parents to confirm the plan.
• Urge a teen to never ride home with a driver who is under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. There should be an understanding that there will be no punishments for a call asking a parent for a ride home, or letting a parent know that things have gotten out of hand and their assistance may be needed.
• Be up to greet your teenager when he/she come home from a party.

If Your Teenager Wants to Give a Party

• Before giving permission, work out the details with your teen and have a clear, mutual understanding of the guidelines for the party.
• Work with your teen. Check out party plans.
• Limit the number of party guests. Often trouble occurs because the gathering is too large.
• Know the guests. The party should be “By invitation only.” Unknown and uninvited guests often show up and do not have the same values as your teens and their friends.
• Establish rules for the party, such as gatecrashers will not be allowed, no alcohol, smoking or drugs will be permitted, guests who leave the party will not be allowed to return, some rooms in the house are off-limits, lights are to be left on, etc.
• Make a plan for handling unwanted guests.
• Discuss acceptable behavior and consequences for unacceptable behavior.
• Set a time limit: A definite starting and ending time.
• Plan some activities in advance: dancing, movies, games, etc.
• Be visible at the party, and know what is going on.
• Invite another parent or couple to join you. When parents deliver their teens to your house, invite them in to get acquainted, even if only briefly.

Responsible Parenting

Parents need to remember that there is an implied responsibility for the health, safety and welfare of a child in your care. Remember that it is illegal in the U.S. to serve alcohol to anyone under the age of 21 other than your own child. Always encourage your teenager to be responsible. By explaining rules and beliefs, your teens and their friends are much more likely to also accept those. The result is much more likely to be a party that is fun for all, with far less chance of disruptive events.

References:

NSDUH

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Keep the Party Safe and Healthy