Points to Consider before Discipling Your Teen

Preparing for Punishment Takes in Emotional Concerns

Apr 17, 2009 Reece Manley

The emotional impact of discipline on teenagers can have unintended side effects. Parents can take steps to reduce negative self-image, anger and other problems.

Discipline is a normal part of life with teenagers. Parents must provide correction in order to encourage good behavior. However, the effects of discipline can linger on in your teenager – manifesting depression, anger and other negative feelings. Parents can help by preparing for the act of correcting behavior.

Target Discipline to the Behavior

Prior to administering discipline, parents should perform a mental inventory to make sure the correct message is conveyed. The specific action or behavior of the teenager should be the target of the punishment. This means parents must make certain the teenager as a whole is not attacked but only the specific behavior.

Parents should begin by allowing themselves the time to cool off. Emotions often run high before discipline is applied and it is normal for parents to experience anger, disgust and frustration. By isolating themselves from the teen for ten minutes allow parents to regain composure and focus on assigning an appropriate form of corrective measures.

Discipline Considerations

When deciding on the punishment to be assigned, parents need to consider the following items before administering discipline:

  • The exact nature of the behavior. Is it an isolated event? Or, is it one repeated often?
  • How has the behavior been addressed before? If parents have had to deal with the behavior before, what did they try? Did it really help? What are some alternatives?
  • The involvement of outside influences. Was there a peer group present? Did the behavior effect others?

Select Appropriate Discipline

Once these topics have been addressed rationally by the parent, he or she is then better prepared to select an appropriate discipline.

  1. There are a few rules the American Journal of Family Psychology authors seem to agree upon when administering discipline.Teens should be isolated from their peers before punishment unless the friends were involved in behavior. This avoids embarrassment for the teen and also allows him to focus exclusively on the parent.
  2. The punishment should fit the behavior. An appropriate response level is important. If a small infraction has occurred, then simply asking the teenager not to do it again might be all that is needed.
  3. Did the action present an immediate and imminent danger to the teen or someone else? A strong and lasting technique should be applied in serious situations. Parents should not hesitate to involve community resources such as police or social services depending on the seriousness of the behavior.

After considering the above factors, parents should provide an intelligent, measured response to the unacceptable behavior. By taking the time to reflect and consider the punishment and making its level match the level of the behavior, parents will have the maximum potential to administer a lasting change.

While discipline is not one of the more enjoyable aspects of parenting, reducing its negative impacts can be accomplished by preparing for the action of correcting your teen.

The copyright of the article Points to Consider before Discipling Your Teen in Parenting Teens is owned by Reece Manley. Permission to republish Points to Consider before Discipling Your Teen in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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