Talking To Your Teen
Opening Doors of Communication with Teenagers
Having good communication with teens can be a challenge. How do we get them to talk? What can we do to get them to open up? Here are some tips to help.
Communicating with teens can sometimes be a challenge, especially when the teen seems unwilling to talk. Here are some things that parents can do that will open up doors of communication, and build on the relationship they have with their teen.
- Talk to them, not at them
- Let them make the first move, in their timing
- Listen well, and talk little
- Make sure they know that you love them "no matter what"
When talking to teens, talk as if you are their friend, not just their authority figure. This will help them relax, and possibly open up about things they wouldn't ordinarily talk to you about. When they know you are not judging them, but just want to know what is going on in their lives, they are more likely to want to talk.
Very often parents want to talk to teens when they get home from school, or after a date. This is usually not when they want to talk. If you look for opportunities, you will find them. If your teen stays up late, check on him and see if he may want to talk. Just be there, and they may start a conversation themselves. Driving in the car is a good opportunity to let them talk. Be willing to talk about whatever they want to, and don't dig for information.
According to About.com, parents not really listening to what their teens are saying is the biggest reason teens won't talk. If you will listen, not be quick to answer, and not jump to conclusions too fast - they are more likely to talk. A good listener doesn't interrupt, uses body language to say they are listening, and repeats what is said to them to make sure they understand.
There may be things your teens would like to talk about, but think you will think less of them or even not love them as much. If you tell them regularly that you will always love them and you are proud of them, they may be more willing to talk about sensitive subjects.
Communication in any relationship is important. If your teens know they can come to you and you will listen, be understanding, and still love and respect them - they will be open to talking more often and about more things. Make it easy for them, and you will reap a lifetime of good relationship and you will see a loving, responsible adult in the future.
