The Importance of Sibling Relationships
Brothers and Sisters are a Major Source of Influence
Apr 18, 2009
When it comes to adolescent life satisfaction scores, a teen's relations with his or her siblings provides a major predictor for positive emotional states. Parents should encourage the strength of the bonds between their teenagers, including step-brothers and step-sisters.
Importance of Siblings
Catherine Massey, an adolescent emotional researcher, addresses the question of the importance of siblings to a teenager's happiness and overall positive social functioning. In her article "Family Relationships and Adolescent Self-Concepts" [Biennial Meeting of the Society for Research in Child Development, 2006] she asked adolescents to rank their feelings about their siblings and then cross-referenced their responses to emotional scales indicating positive social satisfaction and feelings of "happiness" and "satisfaction".
To the layperson this can all be summed up by saying the relationships between siblings seem to be as important as any other factor to a teenagers social functioning and overall emotional wellness. This gives parents another strategy to help their adolescent develop in a well-adjusted adult.
Positive Effects of Having Siblings
If your teenager is lucky enough to have a sibling or siblings, he is less likely to have depression issues, low-self esteem and even lower use of drugs and alcohol so long as the relationship with siblings is nurtured and remains positive. Parents should intervene when necessary to keep these relationships as positive as possible.
Encouraging teenagers to have close relationships with their siblings becomes more complicated the more siblings the teen has in the family. However, some straightforward approaches to fostering strong sibling relationships can be applied regardless of the number of brothers or sisters the teenager has.
Parents should treat each sibling equally and seek to strike a balance between the amount of attention and focus they give to each teenager. Family favoritism, holding one adolescent above the other, can be a natural tendency. Since each teenager is unique, there stands a chance of parents more easily identifying with one teen than his or her siblings. Parents should work not to play favorites among their teens.
Siblings Help Develop Problem Solving Skills
Parents should also allow teenagers to work out their own problems with their siblings. This encourages teenagers to develop problem solving skills. Parents should overtly intervene only when violence or aggressive behavior is imminent. More furtive efforts can include assuring teenagers have a level playing field in the power structure of the family.
Parents should also encourage teens to be supportive of their siblings in extracurricular and religious activities. By attending each other's games, events or performances, parents provide an opportunity to allow teens to receive support and praise from siblings.
Issues with Step-Siblings
When it comes to step-siblings, teenagers should be treated equally regardless of their origin in the family structure. However, if a step-sibling is not living with the family and only visits, parents should not expect the same bonds as if the teens were living under the same roof full-time.
Parents should encourage the relationships between their teen children to be strong and supportive. To review, parents should:
- Treat each teenager with love and respect, giving equal attention to each teenager.
- Allow teenagers to resolve their own conflicts between themselves when possible.
- Encourage teenagers to be active in each other's lives, especially supporting extra-familial activities.
- Step-siblings should not be treated any differently than birth children.
Although there will be infighting and turbulence among teenager siblings from time to time, most of the rough spots will be resolved without parental intervention. When parents do intervene, their actions should be aimed at only leveling the playing field and making certain everyone is being treated with respect.
The relationship between teenage siblings can be among the most important relationships teens will have during adolescents. From these relationships, teens should be able to draw not only emotional support but a source for problem solving skills. Parents should provide plenty of opportunities for sibling support. After all, the teens are learning from the relationships with their siblings how they will treat and interact with major relationships in their adult lives.
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