Science is sooo gay! Translation, "I find science boring." You are such a fag! Translation, "I think you are stupid." You queer! Translation, "You are crazy." The words gay, fag and queer fly between teenagers as insults and descriptors. However, this isn't innocent badgering, it's building a hurtful bias of bigotry potentially damaging self-esteem and destroying personal responsibility.
The "G" Word: What's the Big Deal?
Granted, many times the term is used without any direct intention of involving sexual identity or sexual orientation. However, gay and lesbian teens are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide as their straight counterparts.
The use of the slang in negative connotation also devalues teenagers identifying as gay or lesbian. This makes the process of coming out to family even more difficult because of the fear of rejection. An internalized homophobia begins to build and gay and lesbian teens have lower self-esteem and are more apt to abuse drugs because of this homophobia.
In addition, gay and lesbian teenagers are:
- More likely to be victims of violent crime.
- Experience higher prevalence of depression and anxiety.
- Drop out of school.
- Practice unsafe sex.
What's a Parent to Do?
Before you can speak out against prejudice, you must examine your own feelings regarding the issue. Most parents hold certain hopes and dreams for their teenagers based on the assumption they will turn out to be heterosexual. Roughly 10% of people have same-sex experiences prior to the age of graduation from high school. With very few predictors for the behavior, the 10% could include your son or daughter. How would you feel?
Honest exploration of your attitudes and beliefs is necessary before you begin to prepare to transmit values of tolerance and inclusiveness to your teen. Even if you do not agree with equal rights for gay and lesbian persons, you are a parent responsible for showing your child love, acceptance, education and encouragement. Because there is always the possibility of your child being gay or lesbian, you should come from a place of compassion.
To address the use of "gay" as an insult, speak with your child about prejudice and how it hurts everyone. To those who are gay, it is disrespectful and leads to several severe problems. To those who aren't gay, it fans an air of intolerance and breeds a division between "them" and "us". Once a prejudice is established against one group of people, it is easier to establish it against another group.
The next time you hear a teenager using the word "gay" as an insult, stop and ask the teenager what they mean by the use of the word. Explain you are concerned because gay and lesbian young people have higher incidents of very serious problems. Explain the use of the word can be very harmful and divisive. Finally, have the teen substitute a word that more accurately defines what he is trying to say.
 |
